Get your holy water and shotgun shells ready. Priest Simulator: Vampire Show, the mockumentary action-sandbox that took Steam by storm with its “Very Positive” rating, is finally making its way to consoles.
Developed by the crazy Polish team at Asmodev and published by Ultimate Games S.A., this isn’t your Sunday school version of the clergy. This is a heavy-metal, blood-soaked trip through the absolute weirdest corners of modern Poland.
Release Dates & Pricing
Mark your calendars, because the transition from PC to console is happening right now:
| Platform | Release Date | Price (Standard) |
| PlayStation 5 | April 16, 2026 | £15.99 / $19.99 |
| Xbox Series X|S | May 7, 2026 | £15.99 / $19.99 |
The “Her Ghost” DLC is also launching alongside the console versions for a budget-friendly £2.49 / $2.99.
What is Priest Simulator: Vampire Show?
If you ever wondered what would happen if South Park and Postal had a baby that was raised by a black metal band, you’re halfway there. You play as Orlok, a vampire who—through a series of very unfortunate events—ends up assuming the role of a village priest.
Your goals are simple:
- Fight off “shatanistic” hordes.
- Renovate your crumbling church (which currently looks more like a landfill).
- Administer sacraments (mostly via a telekinetic gauntlet and firearms).
- Get your “batoon” back and return to Hell.
Key Gameplay Features
- Absurd Combat: Dual-wield divine weapons, including a pitchfork, a massive hammer, and a crucifix that does way more than just look shiny.
- The Mockumentary Vibe: The story is told through a hilarious, “unprofessional” English dub that leans heavily into the grotesque and the ridiculous.
- Church Management: Use resources and “Splendour” to fix your temple, unlock confessionals, and deliver sermons to your (mostly) unwilling flock.
- Exorcisms & Side Hustles: Perform high-stakes exorcisms or engage in bizarre side activities across the sandbox map.
- Black Metal Soundtrack: Featuring music from the legendary Polish band Gruzja, perfectly setting the tone for your holy rampage.
Why Console Players Should Care
With a 94% positive rating on Steam, the game has earned a cult following for its “unhinged” energy. It’s a “eurojank” masterpiece in the best sense—prioritising creative madness and fun over the sterile polish of AAA titles.
On PS5, the game takes advantage of the DualSense controller, featuring haptic feedback and adaptive trigger support to make every exorcism feel a little more… tactile.
“Priest Simulator: Vampire Show is a mockumental action game… the absolute weirdest and most messed up simulator in the history of sandbox shooters.” — Ultimate Games S.A.
TechMash Verdict: If you’re tired of the same old military shooters and want something that will actually make you laugh (and possibly question your sanity), this is a must-buy. It’s crude, it’s loud, and it’s arguably the most fun you can have in a cassock.
Are you ready to take the confession, or will you be the one sending the sinners to the other side?
Find out more here – https://s.team/a/950620
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